Now listen up all you bicycle fiends
and I'll tell you a story that sounds like a dream!
it's about a cycling friend I know
who just don't believe in riding slow
he's broad in the shoulders
and narrow in the hips
and everyone knows you can't give the slip
to, "The Bear Man"

Well, he's six-feet-four in his stocking feet
and weighs 175 just after he's eat
he's lean and mean and rides like the wind
and when he takes off you just can't reign him in
they call him, "The Bear Man", and all for good reason
bears,cats and dogs he eats em in season
he rides em down, "The Man's" got no mercy!
there's power bars stuffed in the back of his jersey!

Well that's enough of this rantin' and ravin'
on with the story, the truth you'll be cravin'!

We were ridin' one day on old Hwy 9
just south of Black Mountain leavin' Montreat behind
"The Bear Man", was leadin' and hammerin' his Klein
I on my Litespeed wasn't too far behind

We entered the game lands, critters on my mind
we hit the downgrade makin' 39!
he rounded the curve and sped out of sight
when I came up upon him I got quite a fright!

"The Bear Man" was hobblin' around and around
his bike was all stove in and not worth a dime
There was blood just a drippin' off his elbows and knees
I asked him what happened, he just looked toward the trees

His face was all ashen. His knees were a shakin'
he looked at his cycle, his heart was a breakin'
the fork was all smashed, front wheel all in tatters
I said, "you all right man"? your healths' all that matters!
he finally spoke, I just couldn't conceive it
he told me the truth, you'll just have to believe it

He'd rounded that curve, Bat Cave on his mind
a bear in the road not expecting to find
he said that ole bruin just stood up and stared
the reason was that ole black bear was scared
you see, he'd heard of "The Man's" reputation
for runnin' down varmints all over creation!

He steered to the left to avoid a collision
that bear wanted out, it's mind was a fizzin'
it bolted hard right, straight into his path
and all I found was the aftermath!

He said he heard that ole bear just a diggin'
from what "The Man" said, it sure was a big un'
claw marks on the pavement, bear sign in the grass
he plastered that bruin right smack in the.....!

That bear got up, and took off a runnin'
this ain't made up, and I'm not just a funnin'!
he said, James call your wife, I wanna' go home
He sure was glad I had my cell phone!

So, if ever you're ridin' on old Hwy 9
just south of Black Mountain, leavin' Montreat behind
remember "The Bear Man", and try to take heed
or, "Ole Smokey", might wreck you, and mangle your steed!

These are just the facts Jack. Just the bare bones.
If you don't believe me, ask Reginald Jones!

by James A miller (hope to see you in West Jefferson!)